From teaching Pathshala to being a role model for younger kids: Monica Shah

#TrustyTrustee

Written by Nishi Shah and Suryaraj Jain

Monica Shah isn’t just an ordinary Board of Trustee member for YJA. She’s a Pathshala teacher, basketball coach, music lover, Bharatnatyam dancer, and so much more. But her biggest passion in life is leading her own children to be positive contributors in society. That’s how she became interested in being the coach for her son’s basketball team, choreographing Bharatnatyam pieces for her daughter, and teaching Jainism to the younger generation.

For the past ten years, Monica Aunty has been teaching Pathshala at the Jain Society of Metropolitan Washington (JSMW). Motivated by her son, who was then just two years old, she kick-started a Pathshala class for nursery school students to start providing him and other children with a foundation of Jain principles early on.

As the American-born daughter of Indian immigrants who first came to this country in the early 70s, Monica Aunty considers herself to be a true “ABCD.” She reflects on her own upbringing in the 80s when “[Indians] weren’t as mainstream as we are today.” This made it imperative for her to integrate Indian values into her own life, and a close, supportive extended family has enabled her to bring those values into her children’s lives as well. Growing up, “being vegetarian was foreign” to the people around her, so attending Jain Pathshala in her community was one way of relating to others. Monica Aunty’s childhood involvement in the Jain community shaped much of her life, and she wants to pass that positive Pathshala experience on to younger generations. So alongside training her children in Indian arts such as Bharatnatyam, tabla, and harmonium, Monica Aunty most strongly values instilling Jainism through attending Pathshala.

Being a first-generation Indian-American graduate from the University of Michigan with two children born in the U.S., she finds it easy to relate to current students in her Pathshala classes, many of whose parents have immigrated to the U.S. in more recent years. When working with these students, she tries to instill upon them that, “no matter how well-versed you are on a sutra (prayer), how much time you’ve spent practicing, how much you’ve studied, it’s such a complex philosophy, science, [and] religion that it’s important not to get hung up on ‘you’re Jain if you do this’ or don’t do this.” Instead, Monica Aunty emphasizes being Jain by your intentions — your thoughts, words, and actions.

With this approach, she has noticed a change in attitude for many of her students, even those who seem less involved. Monica Aunty is particularly proud of one such activity. In a weekly activity log, her students record whether they exercised a Kashaya (passion) in their day-to-day lives without meaning to, or if they fulfilled a Jain vow they wanted to. For example, one of her students explained how they experienced frustration while playing basketball with their much-taller sister, but they eventually were glad that their sister had the height advantage because it made them a better player in the end.

Stories like this from her students are what continuously drive Monica Aunty to be able to make a difference in their lives. She says her main goal is for each of her students to walk away as “a better person, even if [they’re] not memorizing every little thing.”

Monica Aunty tries to use this mindset in her daily life as well. As a proud patriot, she is honored to be a civil servant for the United States and currently works as a cybersecurity engineer for the Department of Defense. Being part of such an extraordinary government department, she often takes classes that “talk about [the] diversity of views [and] taking care of yourself to take care of the team,” a practice reflective of the Jain tenet of Anekantavada. At home, she helps take care of her most important team, her family. In a collective effort, they try to live a green lifestyle; over the years she has become much more aware of her consumption of materialistic things, as well as animal byproducts.

On top of that, she tries to emphasize “being conscious of your emotions,” at home with her family. Monica Aunty states that this has been especially important over the past year, during the COVID-19 pandemic. Events like Paryushan, which often have a social aspect along with the spiritual, were suddenly observed virtually, which gave her a lot of time to reflect on the past and present. Given all of that, Monica Aunty and her family have spent much more time together, especially outdoors, hiking and exercising. The extra time she has had with her family led her to reflect upon herself as well, which has led to the mantra: “I need to focus on me.”

In addition to choreographing dance and coaching basketball, Monica Aunty enjoys “a pretty eclectic taste in music,” which ranges from house music and old school hip hop, to classical tabla, garba music, and reggae. One of her favorite artists is the Fugees. She also enjoys watching basketball; originally a Detroit Pistons fan during their “Bad Boys” era, she now roots for her home team, the Washington Wizards.

At the end of the day, nothing matches the level of her passion for teaching Pathshala to the next generation of Jains. She sees the Jain community as an extended family, who all share a common trait regardless of how different they are in other forms, and she feels fortunate to be a part of YJA once more — first as a member, then as a board member, and now as a trustee — because it gives her the opportunity to watch each new generation of YJA take the organization further in creative and energetic ways.

When asked if she had any advice for young Jains, Monica Aunty simply stated, “the older I’ve gotten, the more I’ve come to appreciate that [community].” She goes on to explain how YJA can be a helpful organization for the youth, stating, “when you’re in YJA, you’re in a peak time of your early adulthood, and it’s [an] amazing organization to establish those friendships and to make those new connections. It may not seem like a big deal now … but it is a big deal, and it’s so wonderful to have that.”